I don’t belong here..

Soundtrack:  Creep – Radiohead

Current Reading:  The Tudors: The Complete Story of England’s Most Notorious Dynasty– GJ Meyer

Our amazing admin has done it again with our weekly writing prompt.  So this week she tagged one of my favorite and very personal songs.  Granted, this was completely unknowing on her part but still…let me see if I can translate this message to all of you. Today’s response brought to you by the Figment will not be fiction or a slice of life post from characters my readers know and love but rather…a very different take on my blog.

Being highly creative can add so many things to your life but; in the same vein; it can also prove to challenging to keep and maintain friendships.  In a way, it makes you feel like an outcast and so often misunderstood.   Creativity by its very nature causes you to see the world with the creator’s own, unique spin.  That spin is hard for people to follow sometimes. I spent a great deal of time feeling like I did not really belong anywhere.  Part of that feeling was maturity, part still trying to understand what this spark, this drive was inside me. I honestly don’t believe I truly understood it until I was in my late twenties.

A creative drive is difficult for partners, friends, or family to understand if they don’t have one or if theirs beats to a different drum than your own.  And, for those of us that are creative,  the challenge lies in showing our loved ones that without feeling like we’re being attacked for whatever our journey or process may be or the struggle to find the words to describe something that just is.  We try to justify our raison d’etre if I remember my French right.

Creativity is hard to define.  If you’re someone who is constantly in creative motion,  like I am, that explanation is even more difficult because you feel like you’re constantly on the move from one idea to the next.  There really is not a way for me to turn it off or to stop writing.  I once told someone that I spent too many years waiting for someone to give me permission to  be me.  That is more true than I can ever express in this blog or anywhere for that matter.

Stopping the train so to speak is akin to not breathing for me.  I have to create. I have to write or I’m unhappy.  I have to check out from the world for a little while and into the world I’ve created.  It’s necessary to me.  That lesson took a long time and weeding through a lot of people who didn’t fit me  to learn.  For me, the ideas never really seem to stop slowing down;  I can and do pull things out of absolutely nowhere.  I get inspired by a song, an image, a snapshot.  Do I get writer’s block? Sure, but usually not for too long. Usually another little muse hops her happy self up and says “Did you think about this?”

Personally, I’m often cautioned to slow down.  One of my previous blog posts talked about taking the time to savor the triumph of the moment.  Celebrating that now is always a pain in th ass for me because, well, that next big idea is around the corner knocking.  In my life I have only come across one person that truly understands that drive for me to move from one idea to the next and, surprisingly, that person is not my spouse. Don’t misunderstand me,  I think if I married someone who mirrored my drive to create and tell stories, we would drive each other crazy.   My husband is absolutely amazing about understanding this need I have to fulfill. In fact,  Birth of Light would not have seen the light of day without his gentle prodding and confidence in me.

Lately, with Light’s Guide on the horizon for publication,  I’ve been thinking about the next book, doing a little side writing with the man who “loves to watch the process” (His words, not mine.)  and doing my writing for The Figment. This keeps me happy but I know the saga of Maeseloria is going to continue.  The ride is far from over yet.  For series writers that might catch this, does anyone else get the inevitable “how many books is it going to be” question?

What inspires you?  Do your ideas ever give it a rest?  Do you find yourself in constant motion and waiting for everyone else to keep up? Do you feel like you leave other people in the dust?   If you do,  hey, you aren’t alone and time will bring people to you that either a) get it or b) are patient enough to understand you and give you the space you need to spin your world.

So, with that being said, discussion is totally welcome and another warm thanks to our hostess with the mostest at The Figment.



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